Love Between Projectors and Generators or Manifesting Generators: Boundaries are Badass

1. Prioritizing Rest, Especially When You Don’t Want To

Projectors, you are going to need more sleep and rest than the Generators and Manifesting Generators around it.  Stop apologizing for it, or worse yet, stop denying it and pretending it isn’t true.  Be real.  While you are out there super-generating and over functioning in an attempt to prove you aren’t tired, you are bitter as fuck and sure, maybe you got a lot done, but I bet the person on the other end would have preferred you get less done and be less of a jerk.  Bitterness isn’t cute and I promise you are enough, even going at your own pace.

The flip side.  Sacral beings (Mani-Gens and Generators), sometimes Projectors need a little help managing how open they are to conditioning, and I’m not going to lie to you, they won’t receive it easily.  There are obvious ways you can help, like using your energy to do the dishes so they can rest and giving them alone time to disconnect from everyone else’s auras, and less obvious ways you can help–like giving them explicit directions to go to bed when you know they will otherwise not notice they are tired.  Most Projectors I know struggle to give themselves boundaries around energy and would welcome support with that, and you get to lean into a little bossiness, which could be fun, right?

2. Avoiding Communication Trip Hazards

Generators and Manifesting Generators, you will have to be really explicit and literal when loving a Projector.  That will likely seem confusing, because Projectors seem to see everything–but we don’t see ourselves as easily.  It’s really helpful to your relationship if you invite Projectors to do specific things and make sure to share what you love about them, easily and often.  It may go without saying for you, but it likely doesn’t for them. 

The flip side.  Projectors, you might not realize how powerful your words are, but the person on the other end does.  Make sure you aren’t constantly sharing what you notice about the other person without being asked, it won’t land well.  Instead, just share what you are learning about whatever interests you in the world, and see if the Generator or Mani-Gen on the other end feels a spark to respond.  

3. Compassion and Understanding for Energic Differences

Projectors, remember that you will likely amplify the Other in your undefined centers.  For instance, as a Projector you definitely have an undefined sacral center, and the Manifesting Generator or Generator you love definitely has that center defined.  It’s going to be really easy for you to start amplifying their definition through your body, and it will get out of control.  Fast.  This goes for any undefined center you have, so it is incredibly important that you spend intentional time alone to reground in your defined centers, or you will become totally disconnected from yourself, which can easily lead to an enmeshed and unhealthy relationship.

The flip side.  Generators and Manifesting Generators, I’m going to be real with you.  For a little while, it might feel awesome for a Projector to be totally absorbed by you and completely in your energy.  They might feel like your best friend, the love of your life, or just someone you can’t get enough of.  Understand that this feeling is probably going to end badly.  Tragically, even, because your energy running wild inside a Projector will become toxic and exhausting to them, and eventually they will not be able to give you what you are used to taking from them and that will feel incredibly frustrating to you, maybe even like a betrayal.  It’s important that you hold your own space and boundaries in these relationships, taking intentional time to be apart and ensuring that you are meeting your own needs, even though it feels extra lovely to be loved by a Projector and especially if they don’t notice how much they are over functioning for you–because they might not.  (You can still have that love, just watch out for the codependency that’s so easily accessible between a sacral and non sacral being.)  

For everyone involved?  Boundaries, baby. It’s a thing.

Everybody, remember that what you need isn’t always what someone else needs.  That’s the usefulness of Human Design– it offers a values-neutral guide to what everyone needs to feel healthy and whole.  However, we aren’t always skilled at understanding that we all have different needs, so we end up trying to provide to the other what we would want, which might not be what they want at all.

If you love someone of a different type, take a moment to really feel into the idea that it is completely okay that you treat them differently than you would like them to treat you.  Ease into the concept that you are enough, as are they, and being in relationship does not mean that you conflate your identities–even if that relationship is a romantic partnership.  

I’m a Projector, and as my Mani-Gen partner always says: “let me be me.”

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